The Visit

I enjoyed a wonderful visit with my mother and sisters! The weather cooperated enough that we went for a swim in the motel pool, although the supposedly heated water was colder than cold. I took a bunch of pictures - I tricked them into thinking I was fiddling with the camera settings, when in fact I was taking shot after shot. ha. I'm in the process of running them through photoshop, then emailing them to my sister a few at a time.

On saturday afternoon I watched for them, standing out on my porch overlooking the motel parking lot. Suddenly they zipped into the lot. They had arrived. I ran barefoot out of my apartment and across the street. My youngest sister hugged me so hard she lifted me from the ground. Immediately I felt comfortable among them, so much better than it has been in the past! During their visit, we spent hours talking and laughing, sitting on the floor in my livingroom, since I don't really have proper chairs.

The second morning, I actually left my apartment and knocked on their motel room door - coming to them before they came to me. This proves to me that I was enjoying their company. I wasn't hiding, and dreading their knock on my door. What a wonderful thing to experience such a turn around from the past! I've been invited to join them for a family reunion at the end of July, and so I plan to do that. I'm nervous, as I will be seeing relatives whom I haven't seen in ages. People who might not be very sensitive to my feelings. But ... I feel very strong within myself, and serene in my own skin. I know I can handle all of this, as long as I remain true to myself.

When they left, I stood on my porch and watched as they drove out of site, turning the corner onto the highway with a final wave. I felt a lump in my throat, and tears in my eyes, but it was a nice, happy feeling. Nothing like the tension I used to feel after their visits in the past. No regrets or resentments, instead I felt we had struck a happy medium in our agreeing to disagree - our first steps in building a new, mutually respectful relationship were a resounding success!

On another note - a second photographer from my club has asked me to pose for him. He works in studio, and is interested in trying some figure studies where shadow plays a large part in the overall picture. He won't be ready until September or so. This is all very thrilling for me. I feel that my experience as an artist is really moving forward. I love where all of this is taking me!