Violence Versus Serenity

I watched a documentary tonight, about the bombing of Hiroshima. As a result, I'm thinking about violence versus pacifism. Rage versus serenity. Inner turmoil, versus the calm that comes when one finds peace within themself.

The world has always been a violent place, I suppose. Even without war and other atrocities brought by human kind, Nature itself thrives on bloodshed. Everything we do, it seems, contains a degree of violence. Even gardening involves the killing of pest insects, the pulling of weeds, the pinching of tips to promote bushy growth. We run mowers over our lawns to slice off a multitude of grass blades. We prune off entire branches from trees and bushes. We create a bouqhet by severing the most beautiful flowers, along with a length of their stem. If our flowers could express themselves in a way humans could understand, they would probably tell us they dread the sound of our feet as we wander among them. They would say that they live in fear of what we will do to them next.

There are so many forms of violence, not all are easily identifyable. Gossip is, in my opinion, a form of violence. As is failure to forgive, and the act of forcing another to your point of view. Even love can be violent in a way, as one struggles to keep hold of the other, so their leaving won't cause an irriparable wound to the heart.

I came upon this idea slowly, about a year before I left x. I think the seed was planted when I began to practice yoga. I started to feel a sense of serenity. My skin was infused with it. I wrapped myself up in this feeling of peace, and allowed it to seep in until all of my being was saturated. And then I realised that I had reached a point of forgiveness. I understood that all the years I'd lived without forgiving those who hurt me, had been spent in violence. Not only the violence I practiced in my daily life as I acted out my rage, but the inner violence as anger blackened my recollections. Nonviolent love has been more difficult. I'm still working on the idea. I wonder, sometimes, if it might be impossible to achieve this completely.

I have become a pacifist. I believe it is vital to one's own happiness to avoid the violence of resentment, and of jealousy, and of frustration against others who don't share my views. It isn't easy, and I often fail, but I find that in moving through my day in a calm state of mind, I feel beautiful. I don't worry quite as much about the future. I'm able to trust that things will work out.

On the other hand, I wonder if violence is sometimes necessary. I'm not sure about this yet, but I think it might be true. Not the mindless acts that are commited every day, but perhaps some of the other forms - hard decisions between one push and another shove, that might end in some form of acceptable conclusion.

Is it possible, or even preferrable to spend all of one's time in a state of serenity? Would anything get done? I'm not sure. Perhaps it would. Or maybe we would be rendered incapable of any movement at all. What if we never felt a single twinge of jealousy? Would that bring on the extinction of love? What if we never tried to bring another around to our point of view? Would that end all debate? Maybe the world would be boring without violence, at least in some form. I'm not sure.