The Queen Is A Thief! Off With Her Head!

Today I was told that the Queen will be taking twenty dollars from me each month, for the next year. All because I accepted a cheque from the Canadian government as reembursement for the damage deposit I paid on my apartment. I was tempted to refuse the cheque, but changed my mind, because I wanted to add it to my savings for a better camera. So that's what I did. But I can't help feeling resentful towards the Queen. She is, after all, a kazillianaire. Why is she pilfering money from a lowly janitor? I'm so poor I have to take from my phone bill money to buy deoderant for Pete's sake!

Now that I'm on the subject of the Queen - why is it that Canadians are (apparently) loyal to this British woman? Yes I know all about the history etc. I understand that I am living in British Columbia. Still, what has she done for me lately? I recall a speech she made after her son burned down part of the castle ... of course they blamed the whole thing on a carpenter or something, but her son just happened to be there at the time of the fire, so ..... just do the math. At any rate, the Queen made a speech, against a background scene of workers carrying out priceless paintings. She claimed that these paintings belong to us, the people.

These artworks are mine? I had no idea! I have never seen them, except for a glimse of some of them that day on t.v. I certainly can't afford to travel to England to view my paintings, but I would like to see the extent of the damage done to them by the fire. May I be reembursed for any of it? Could I, at least, be excempt from paying back this cheque I received today?